Q&A

“Can you be gay and Christian?”

A Christian is someone who loves and follows Jesus. That’s it. Anyone is welcome to the feet of Jesus, regardless of their gender, skin color, or orientation. Jesus never turned away those who were marginalized—He drew near to them, healed them, and invited them in.

“Are gay marriage activists valuing marriage more than God?“

Just because someone advocates for the right to marry doesn’t mean they value marriage more than God. Consider the example of interracial marriage—not long ago, people fought for that right too. It wasn’t because they placed marriage above God, but because they believed they should have equal access to it. Wanting the same legal and spiritual rights to marry doesn’t diminish a person’s faith—it reflects a desire for fairness and dignity.

“Is gay marriage a threat to marriage?”

Allowing gay couples to marry doesn’t stop heterosexual marriages from happening. About 98% of people are straight—they’re not going to suddenly want to marry someone of the same sex. Straight people aren’t going to abandon marriage just because they see relationships that look different from their own. They won’t stop falling in love, getting married, or building families simply because gay couples are doing the same.

“Are gay couples a harm to children?”

The prevailing body of scientific research supports the conclusion that children raised by same-sex parents are just as healthy and well-adjusted as those raised by different-sex parents, some even more well adjusted.

• A comprehensive review of 17 studies from 2015 to 2022 found that there were no significant differences in mental health between children with same sex parents.

• Research from the Netherlands found no significant differences in behavioral problems between children with same-sex and different-sex parents.

• Some studies actually noted that children of same-sex male parents had fewer issues related to anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal compared to those with different-sex parents.

• The National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study, which followed children conceived via donor insemination by lesbian mothers over 32 years, found that these children were as psychologically healthy as their peers and exhibited higher levels of educational achievement.

• A study found that children raised by same-sex parents from birth performed better academically in both primary and secondary education compared to those raised by different-sex parents.

• An Australian study reported that children in same-sex parent families scored higher on measures of general behavior, general health, and family cohesion compared to population norms.

• A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found no differences in the psychological health of individuals raised by lesbian mothers compared to those raised by heterosexual parents. The study also noted higher levels of educational achievement among the former group.

• Research indicates that the legalization of same-sex marriage is associated with reductions in suicide rates among youth aged 10–24, suggesting broader societal benefits for children in LGBTQ+ families.

• Children of LGBTQ+ parents may face unique challenges related to societal stigma and discrimination, which can impact their mental health. However, supportive family environments often mitigate these effects.

Personal note: we personally know of some gay couples who exemplify what relationships or marriage is better than most straight couples we know. Marriage can exemplify sacrificial love, faithfulness, and partnership, no matter which genders are represented.

“What do gay couples want?”

Gay couples want the same thing as everyone else: to love, be loved and to be able to celebrate that. Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon (pictures below) were the first same-sex couple to legally marry in San Francisco (February 12, 2004). They had been together for more than 50 years. They wanted what all married couples want. They wanted to be legally married, to have the rights of a married couple, to announce their commitment to each other and to their friends and family.

“Does homosexuality causes AIDS?”

There are serious sexual viruses that spread through heterosexual sex as well, but that does not automatically mean heterosex is a sin. Why would this one be different? Also, if AIDS was a homosexual punishment, wouldn’t all the lesbians would be getting it as well? The estimated Pprcentage of HIV Diagnoses in the US are: 70% gay men, 25% straight men, 1% lesbians (see more at Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Nevertheless, it’s important to understand the facts about AIDS:

• The first case of AIDS was in 1981 (gay people have existed for centuries)
• Female-female sex doesn’t transfer AIDS
• In Africa, more females than men get AIDS
• Black Americans experience disproportionately higher rates of HIV/AIDS diagnoses and deaths compared to White Americans.
• AIDS affects heterosexual people as well.
• More men than women die of AIDS in the States:

There is no scientific basis for the belief that homosexuality causes AIDS. This misconception has been thoroughly discredited by decades of medical research and public health data.

“Why are there more gay people in cities?”

Statistics show more gay people in the cities. The reason for this, is that gay people living in rural areas usually feel less comfortable disclosing their sexual orientation, have less support from families and friends, and may lack access to community. In contrast, gay people living in urban areas may be more likely to find support services and have greater access to health care providers experienced in treating LGBTQ persons. Many who are gay in rural towns, do not come out until they leave.

“What are Pride parades?“

For some, what they envision when they hear about gay people, are parades that are hyper sexual, disruptive, and thrive on morally inappropriate displays. These views are frequently shaped by sensationalized media coverage or isolated images taken out of context.

In reality, many Pride parades do not look like what you see in movies or on social media. While some expressions may be bold or unconventional, the heart of Pride is about people’s ongoing fight against discrimination. Far from being chaotic spectacles, most Pride events are family-friendly, peaceful, and deeply meaningful to those who have long lived in silence or fear.

The first Pride parade was born after the Stonewall riots, as a response to celebrating that no longer would they be taken to jail for holding hands, just for looking gay, for sitting next to a loved one, or for holding hands. Gay people didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but they were forced to when they were being persecuted, put in jail and fined. Although some restrictions have lifted today, some things have not changed. Kids are being bullied, committing suicide, and kicked out of their homes. The gay community has less rights and is often mistreated.

Not being allowed to speak out when they feel abused, is an abuse in itself. Being reprimanded for speaking up for abuse, sounds like an abusive relationship; When one tries to defend oneself, the abuser blames the victim for “making a deal about it” and uses a lot of political rhetoric, emotional jargon, manipulates and creates facts, and then re-blames the victim again if the argument isn’t settled.

“Is being gay the same as committing adultery”

No, they’re not the same at all. Being gay is about who someone is attracted to—it’s part of their identity. Adultery is an act: it’s when someone breaks a vow of faithfulness in a committed relationship. A gay person can be just as committed, faithful, and sacrificially loving as anyone else. Two people of the same sex choosing to love and honor each other in a lifelong covenant is not adultery.
Gay people can commit adultery—just like straight people can. But being gay, by itself, is not a sin or a betrayal. Adultery is a violation of trust. Gay love, like straight love, can be rooted in trust, faithfulness, and integrity.uple.

“Is Gay Christian an oxymoron?”

No. A Christian is someone who loves and follows Jesus—not someone with a certain innate orientation. Imagine a young girl who realizes in middle school that she’s attracted to other girls. She prays, hides, and begs God to take it away. But nothing changes—except her love for Jesus, which only deepens. She wants to honor Him with her whole life. She knows she’s gay. She also knows she belongs to Christ.

Yet she’s told she can’t be both—that her faith is invalid because of who she is. Not because she’s rejected Jesus, but because others have rejected her.

This is the painful reality many LGBTQ Christians live with today: not that they’ve walked away from Jesus, but that the church has tried to walk away from them. And yet, they remain—faithful, devoted, and deeply in love with God. That doesn’t sound like an oxymoron. That sounds like an example -an example of how to follow Jesus.

“Can’t gay people just force themselves to marry a straight person, with the hope that God will give them the desire later for that one person?”

There are countries that practice arrange marriages. The reason this scenerio is different, is that the gay person does not have the physical capability of being sexually attracted to the opposite sex.

Christopher Yuan, founder of Holy Sexuality, instructed teen christian young people to do this. We have heard others voice this is well. This is a tragic situation to push people into, and one that has prove disastrous in the past.

For those of us who are straight, it would be hard to imagine marrying and having sex someone of the same gender. It’s for us to image, but that is what gay people go through if they are not bisexual. It is something they can’t change. Can God do miracles? Absolutely, we can’t assume and expect it. We would be forcing people into a harmful situation. We would be putting that person into a loveless marriage. We would also be giving hope to a gay person that is untrue, unbiblical and unethical. Statistics show there is higher divorce rate among gay people who marry the opposite sex. For those who it does work out, psychologist are saying those people are probably bisexual. Those few stories, though, don’t outweigh the research on sexual orientation change efforts, and the countless tragic stories of failed marriages.

“Are you importing an external narrative into the Bible rather than letting it speak for itself.

What an irony, that this is actually what we did before, when we were not affirming. We realized we were allowing tradition, church interpretations, emotions, and church cultural pressure to influence our decision. What we did when finally found the Bible to be affirming, is we went to only the Bible (the text and the context of the text). We did not bring in tradition or emotions. We let the Bible speak for itself.

“Aren’t you calling was is evil, good?”

We’ve heard this question before. It’s often based on a verse from Isaiah 5:20, which says:
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!”

But here’s the irony: Isaiah’s warning wasn’t directed at people who were showing compassion—it was aimed at those in power who were using religion and law to oppress the vulnerable. Just a few chapters later, in Isaiah 10, the prophet declares judgment on leaders who “make unjust laws” and “deprive the poor of their rights,” denying justice to the marginalized—widows, orphans, the poor, and anyone seen as unclean, including eunuchs and others whose bodies didn’t fit the norm.

Isaiah helped shift the focus of Scripture from ritual purity to social justice. He reminds us that God is not pleased with systems that hurt people in His name. And just like Isaiah, we are speaking out—not to excuse sin, but to challenge injustice.

We’re not saying sin isn’t sin. We’re saying that being gay—or marrying someone of the same sex—is not a sin to begin with. It’s not unclean. It’s not evil. What is evil is using Scripture to deny others dignity, belonging, and love.

“We’ve heard it said that an abusive heterosexual marriage is morally superior to a loving gay marriage“.

One of the people that have publicly made this comment is Rosaria Butterfield, a Christian author who often shares her personal story of leaving a same-sex relationship and becoming a Christian. She promotes that same-sex attraction as inherently sinful, endorses conversion therapy and has publicly stated that no one can be gay and Christian. Butterfield once said that an abusive heterosexual marriage is morally superior to a loving same-sex relationship. Abuse is a violation of God’s design for human dignity and relationships, no matter what. The fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control—should be the measure of a relationship’s moral value, not the gender configuration. Her claim has no basis in Scripture. The idea that abuse can be “morally superior” in any context is not biblical—it’s dangerous. It dismisses the real suffering of victims and misrepresents the character of God, who defends the oppressed and condemns injustice in all its forms. Read more about her claims here.

“Should gay people only have their identity in Christ?”

I assume a Canadian Christian person, is probably proud to identify as a Canadian. This does not mean they nullify their identity in Christ. We will let Justin Lee answer this one:

“What are your thoughts about Christopher Yuan’s Holy Sexuality Project?”

Christopher Yuan proclaims himself as an ex-gay. He does still state that he does not have any heterosexual attractions and remains celibate (see interview with Ethan Renoe), but he says he is no longer gay because he left the gay lifestyle. He explains this in an interview with Focus on the Family testimony (A Christian Response to Homosexuality), where he explains how he left “the gay lifestyle” (a life of drugs, sexual promiscuity, and alcohol). He equates leaving a world of sin, with not being gay anymore.

Mr. Yuan created The Holy Sexuality Project, a non-affirming 12 part video series for teenagers about what the Bible says about homosexuality and gender. We purchased the program as one of our studies this past year. We wanted to make sure to study both affirming and non affirming material as part of our journey. Our biggest disappointment with this project was the lack of Biblical support through all the lessons. It wasn’t until lesson 9 that Mr Yuan said he’s going to add “what does the Bible say”, but even then, when we finally arrived to lesson 9, he only mentioned some “affirming myths” as he calls it. Still no verse references to why God does not approve of being gay. He didn’t mention any Bible texts or passages that give any prohibitions or commands against same sex attraction or same sex marriage. If you’d like to see Becky’s personal un-edited notes on the whole project, we leave them here for you.

“How do we know what is false teaching?”

Jesus wisely warns the disciples to beware of which teaching they believe! I John 4:1 teaches us that we should “not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see if they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” 

• False teaching will lead people away from God (Deuteronomy 13:1–3, Jeremiah 23:26–27)  
• False teaching will twist the gospel, the message of salvation (Galatians 1:6–9, 2 Peter 3:16) 
• False Teaching will distract from salvation (2 Corinthians 11:3–4, Matthew 23:13)
• False Teaching will add things to Scripture that aren’t there (Proverbs 30:6, Revelation 22:18)
• False Teaching lies to make his point (Jeremiah 23:25–26, Ezekiel 13:6)
• False teaching denies the power of Jesus (2 Peter 2:1, 1 John 4:1–3)
• False teaching says you have to work for your salvation and Jesus is not enough (John 14:6, Galatians 2:16)
• False teaching does not align fully with Scripture (Isaiah 8:20, Acts 17:11)
• False teaching pushes people away from the gospel, not to it (Matthew 23:15, 2 Corinthians 11:13–15)
• False teaching bears bad fruit, not good fruit (Matthew 7:15–20, Luke 6:43–44) “Are grapes gathered from thorns or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits.” Matthew 7:15-20

2 Timothy 4:3-4 warns us that “the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables”.

The reason for this website is to encourage us all to continually test that which we believe and not assume we have interpreted Scripture correctly. The truth is strong enough to handle our questions.